It just might be a crackhead, got a hold of the WRONG stuff.

Adventure with Crackheads / Austin, TX

So... Adriana and Marie were enlisted to offer $5 haircuts at 1808 during SXSW. Simple enough? I volunteered to get the ball rolling. Adriana gave me a very sweet french braid that wrapped around my head earlier during the day (trust, it was cute), and the plan was to get a bitty trim and re-braid. Trim? Done. JUST as Adriana starts the french braid, STRAIGHT from the alley, comes SHEILA. In all her glory. All up in Adriana's hands as she's braiding my hair. Choice quotes:

"You gotta wet ALL that."

"You gotta use the comb. Get all that baby hair."

"Here, let me show you."

"You gotta pinch it."

"Baby, am I hurtin' you?"

"I'mma make my own style!"

"Ooh, if you were here yesterday, I would have given you microbraids, with a little bead at the end."

"When you go back to LA, and you just take them our with your fingers, your hair's gonna be CURLY curly."

The way Sheila was yanking my shit and talking, I thought it couldn't be anything else but the bomb biggety, but what she gave me was straight. up. DOOKIE. braids. WITH... 4 little rat tails at the end. She worked so hard on my hair, Adriana and I both felt uncomfortable telling her that I look like a broke-ass, first time Midwesterner visiting Nassau / RZA. AND fools were taking my picture while the shit was going down. So not pumped. 

I even tried to pop my collar to hide my rat tails, unsuccessful. Luckily when I came back to pick up the girls, hair undid, Sheila was back in the alley and did not recognize me... Moral of the story: do not, I repeat, DO NOT let crackies do your hair. Either that, or I need to grow a set of balls, and speak my mind when crackies attempt to cornrow my shit.