Wednesday, September 29, 2010

the more and more you come around
i've come to the realization that
you don't sit
but hover
silently vibrating
and stirring the electricity in the small space
between yourself
and the chair

i can tell you've been here

the light dancing off the uneven surface of silver coins
and the slightest of weigh in my outstretched palm
that you left behind

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Dream Lab Archive

All recorded and experienced in Berlin, GM


I'm inside and it is dark. I'm asking friend if they want to go. Liz Albertson is either friend or the other person who’s house it is. There is a delayed online chat during the party, with party people sending messages to voyeurs. I sent a tect message to Lindsay, saying "We can leave whenever". I told her that perhaps the person on the other side of the computer saw my text because somehow the electric signal got diverted and showed on the computer screen. I left the room, embarrassingly talking about how the just farted. Meanwhile, I’m in a dark room, trying to these new creature cats to go with me, but suddenly I encounter a Tabby that will not come. In my hands are two creature cats. Suddenly, baby panther creature with small, long alligator jaws opens slowly to bite my Tabby on the neck. I’m trying to swipe at it with the other cat creatures, but drop them and use my two index fingers to hold the mini jaws open and am calming yelling for Liz, “I need your help. I am not joking.” She finally comes in and helps to get the alligator creature off of me. Both my index fingers are lacerated to the point of needing stitches. I tape them together and try to hold them above my heart.

I'm now inside in highly lit party. As I am trying to get information on how to go to the hospital, I’m on a video chat with friends that mainly like Hip Hop. The screen shows the other side. Sean Paul’s “I’m still love with you” comes on the computer and we’re all laughing, Drew Blood is dancing. He looks like Danger Mouse with a blue collared shirt and brown pants. I see him entering a dark corridor dancing towards camera. “What?! Drew is doing the butterfly?” Lot of laughing. Stepping into the light we see he has an afro, and grabs an aerosol can of something – pretending it’s activator. He dances with it behind his back towards the camera, we notice that it spray fabric softener, and we’re yelling, “No! He’s not going to do it.” He sprays his hair and it actually acts like activator turning his fro into a Jheri curl. We say that he has to put this on DrewTube. I occasionally check my index fingers and the bleeding has stopped, but the tape is understandable falling apart.

I'm leaving the “party” with my busted fingers to go somewhere, presumably to get them fixed. Daylight outside, overcast. I end up walking down the street and cross a bridge where I notice that people are watching the water. I duck between legs and appendages down to watch through the railing. I see a Fabio character, cheesy handsome, no shirt sitting on a branch coming out of the water. My view changes when I realize that it’s a Las Vegas style wedding on the river, Venetian style. The bride is wearing a white dress and sits side saddle on the ledge with a rock-climbing / zip cord attached to her waist and you see that she’s calling something to the man (indistinguishable) and the man waves her over, while attaching her line to one that connects just beyond him in the branch so you can see that she’s going to land in her lap. I have the feeling that it already going to be very melodramatic, when she zips down the line and clumsily lands in him lap. He kisses her to hoots and hollers. Eyes are drawn downwards and a boat the same color of the murky river water, brown / beige, is there with an electric motor. Both get in and he rips the motor and it looks like they are going to skid out and away, but I become only slightly impressed when it capsizes with motor still going and we’re all sure that this is NOT part of the “show” and someone is going to get hacked into pieces, but it turns over again, everyone slightly damp, but in tact. Definitely part of the show and I feel cheated because I feel for it. They peel off and I get up to leave. I help someone pick up their dropped phone and find out that we both need to catch a cab.

It's nighttime. I walk out onto the street with other person (indistinguishable boy or girl) and catch a horse carriage with a big truck bed with a number of different characters, hipsters and one, older man in tux at end of the night and son in nicer clothes (~13 -15 years old). I find out that I’m in somewhere in New York / Berlin combo (vibe of Berlin, grid like New York). Father and son just got out of a show / event, they’re rich, and are trying to find a place to eat. I say I only know the Lower East Side and the East Village in Manhattan – suggest Tuck Shop on First and First. Heading uptown and nearest intersection that I see in we’re in Times Square heading north, with 20th Street running East to West. Somehow, heading to the upper streets = LES area. Completely upside down, but it makes sense. It becomes obvious that Father likes me and is asking where to eat, but son is being a brat. I try to talk to the son, but he’s giving short, smart ass answers and being a snob, in general. He doesn’t want this or that. The cabbie takes a “short cut” through New Jersey, which looks a lot like Central CA countryside , stating that we don’t want to go through Times Square during this time of day because of traffic. Somehow, I say something heartfelt / touching that makes the little boy question his attitude and now we’re best friends. Get the feeling that he is romantically interested / enamored with me, but keep boundaries. End up ditching the father somehow and cut to us together in a big Best Buy / Costco type stop where it’s fast forward / time lapse through our actions: sales person authorizing son to use father’s credit card and “you can decide to change the terms of service,” we buy video games, big dolls… montage of us getting stupid with games / toys, etc. End up feeling for the kid, who’s missing his father, and we try and find the father. Fingers still bandaged.

It's still nighttime. I deposit the kid somewhere safe to wait, and end up walking around where the Tuck Shop is, but it’s a hybrid LES and Compton / ghetto. I end up walking through a backyard. It’s trashy - old, non-working cars in the backyard, muddy, with tables filled with remnants of a party plus kid’s toys. There are wooden structure outside (Outhouses? Sheds? Storage?), and I infer that the family who lives her probably spends a lot of time outside due to lack of space and that they’re not home because they’re back door is wide open and no one is around. I bend down to play with raggedy animal and my eyes are drawn to see something on the table that is significant to helping the boy find his father. When I make to grab it, I see headlights from a van heading towards me. I duck and try to hide behind a car, but they get out of the car all dressed in red and I scoot in the dirt around the car trying to avoid their sights. I notice they are all Bloods, everyone wearing a bandana in various ways with at least one article of clothing that is red (shirts, caps, shoes) and they have weapons. I realize I’m fucked. I get up and state my purpose, stammering I’m trying to help this kid, but they don’t want any explains and back me out into the driveway. I’m backing up to the street with my arms up and I know it’s the end when a car pulls up the driveway, headlights on. I can’t see who gets out of the car, but I notice it’s a gang of Crips, not necessarily to defend me but to get their fight on and I just happen to be in the middle. One of the guys said they should kill me too, and why should they not? I stammer the same thing I said to the Bloods but with more detail trying to buy time, and am interrupted with, “What? You know (name)?” I say I was hanging out with his son all day and I’m trying to help him. It’s about to go down, but they offer to call him and if he doesn’t know who I am, it’s done. His brings the phone to his ears…


I worked in a restaurant like my father's except it was super high-end that people had to wait outside and there were all these mosquitos out. My co-workers and I didn't get out of the restaurant until 7am and it was still dark. We saw a hugh cement wall in front of the restaurant. I said, "We need to get over that... I don't know why, but this looks like a quarantine." We walked to the other side of the neighborhood and there's the same thing. I said, "Fucking get rid of anything you can't carry because some shit is going down."

Cut to the next day and people are walking around like nothing is wrong, some people are sick looking but we're not. We're at a coffee shop and someone's like, "I think I know why people look sick." and I interrupted with "Mosquitos." And they all turned to me. "You just had to say it didn't you? Always interrupting." I felt really embarrassed and started climbing up the building to get away... then I saw people following me, and I thought that even if they were zombies following me, I'd just rather die than be embarrassed. I got up to the top of the building. People were already up there, they looked tired and on guard, but not sick. Then, they announced over the citywide loudspeaker that they were releasing 2,500 of those people... And everyone who didn't climb up anywhere turned around and looked .... the zombies... were... compact and ravenous.


I'm waiting for a text confirmation from Lindsay Sharp that the wedding she invited me to was in Long Beach, CA and not some other Long Beach. I had booked a flight for over the phone without specifying. I didn’t realize I was going to be in Los Angeles during that time. I ended up waiting in a library on campus, possibly in Madison, with large windows with lots of light. I'm sitting by the windows on the ground. The DJs from WeFunk are broadcasting their show live from their BlueTooths in the library. I can tell by the way they are dressed and their voices. They sit with their legs sprawled out and their backs on the bookshelf, they look stoned. There’s a young Asian boy / possibly Pilipino that says he’s seen me at various Hip Hop events on campus. I told him that if I stayed for another two years and attended all the events I would probably know everyone that listened to Hip Hop at the school. I wanted to mention that I recognized the WeFunk DJs, but couldn’t find a way to work it into the conversation. He asked me if I liked Seattle’s Best, I corrected him and said Young Blood Brass Band, but meant to say Strange Fruit Project. I said it sounded like a coffee. DJ Static told me I should stop smoking because he overheard me talking and said my voice was getting as scratchy as his. I decided to wait outside and I knew it was the Mid-West because people were loitering outside. I was cleaning my glasses and looked in the sky. There was were dark clouds of circling bugs or birds in the distance, and when I put the glasses back on, I noticed that there was huge Bald Eagle circling. I was pretty much losing it because it was huge and I never saw one in real life. It was circling lower and lower, until I can diving down, head first, like a bullet about 3 feet away from me. It landed straight on its head with a CRASH. Got on it’s feet, shook it’s head, and then waddled away. That’s when I realized that Bald Eagles were descendant from Dinosaurs, specifically the thick skulled Pachycephalosaurus.


I was in competition with my mom who was my age, but I knew was my mom. For some reason we had to stay up all night driving around, I think we didn’t have a home.

Date Unknown

I am an art student with access to huge studios. I am driving over a huge mountain pass with friends and my mom is in the back seat. There was a flood and it came to to tops of Berlin-style buildings. I wanted to take a picture, but we were driving too fast for me to get a good angle from the passenger side, so I handed my mom the camera and was like, "TAKE IT." I was really exasperated when she couldn't. We cross over the mountain pass and into the heart of the valley where the flood has become a river. We abandon the car and everyone is in the river water. It's not cold and people are floating around and standing on top of houses, but not really bothered by the fact that are in flash flood turned river. I see Jenny Anderson and Brittany Smith and they want me to bring a boat over to them. A plastic boat that floats, but s very, very thin. I fold up the boat, put it under my arm and swim, breast stroke, as hard as I could to bring it to them. As I was swimming, I noticed that there were people swimming next to me and at once I realized I was in a race. Immediately, I stopped trying, but decided, "Eh, I should finish anyway." (I think I lost my motivation for getting the boat to Jenny and Brittany in my efforts). So I did. After the race, I saw that I was ahead of all the boys and girls in the race (they were all in different divisions, but racing at the same time), but 3/4 of the way to the end you could tell when I stopped "trying" and slowed down to make it to the Top 10 (out of 20). At the end of the race, a guy approached me saying, "You could have won, but you just stopped trying 3/4 of the way through."

I was trying to tell him that it was precisely the fact I was not trying that made me go "fast."

Date unknown

Scavenger Hunt - collected everything by myself and with no bike... was going to win when people found out. I was no longer first in line. I dated an actor who was always having performance issues. I remember being very sympathetic.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Early morning silence creeps into my noisy noiseless sleep
the stillness visible through slowly awakening eyes
that saw an alternate existence while closed.
Hazy as it drifts away,
dispersing in the muted sun light.

Fresh wounds from the night before
and beg attention.
And are ignored,
for this morning belongs to the quietness
and the birds
and the rustle of the falling leaves
going about their ante meridiem business.

Clarity of reflection is afforded,
uninterrupted by the sounds of your own voice.

The expanse of the impending day
laid out before you,
taking shape like
slow lemniscate structures swirling
cream against the earth
integrating itself into the whole.